We all find ourselves born into a family. We all have a mother, a father, grand parents, possibly siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins.
So many people I know are scarred by their experiences during childhood because they were victims of neglect or abuse by their own mother and/or father.
When I became a parent I was overwhelmed by the feelings of love, care, responsibility and a deep, deep instinct to protect my son the minute I knew he was there. And my astonishment about what people do to their children which basic instincts they must override to let’s say hit their child infuriated me and let me reflect on my own past.
I can not change the past and I can not change my people. My mother will always be my mother, my father will always be my father, my brothers will always be my brothers. I love them for all the good they gave me. I forgive them for all the hurt they done to me and I hope they forgive me for all the pain I caused them because I am truly sorry if I did.
And at the moment I find myself at a fork in the road where I have to ask myself am I willing to subject myself to their values to their world views as their actions sometimes hurt me? Well… I can let “it” not hurt me… But even if they don’t hurt their behavior at times is still incompatible with my values. So I need to let them go and let them find their own way. Who am I to know what’s right for them. But I know what’s right for me.
So it is better to move on down a new road. I have a big family now. A family of kindred by choice. People who act in a way I choose to act. People who care about me the same way I care about them and about myself. People I love and who love me. People who stick even when the going gets tough and I need them.
They are my kin. They are my family. They are my chosen brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts and uncles.
The roads are clearly marked I just need to go on traveling…