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the practice of being creative everyday

self portrait

January 27th, 2010 at 21:17

Today I was considering painting a self portrait. And I was thinking well I could take out a mirror and paint a picture of myself. Or I could take a photograph and paint from that.

But how I see myself in not who I am entirely.
What you can see, is not all-in-corp(us)-erating.

I am warm, I am soft, I have hair, the downy type on the sides of my cheeks, soft, thin hair on my head, I smell (as in, in general or nice, not smell as in reeking). I think, I feel, I have a history. I plan, hope and dream of a future. I live. I breathe. I move.

Just on the moving, are you aware that you need to move to feel yourself, be aware of yourself? Take your foot for example for a moment. Did you move it when I mentioned it? Probably. You tend to move in order to feel. We’re unaware of these self-awareness movements.

I am overwhelmed by the one dimension of a painting to portray all that. But that’s what a self portrait is, a drawing of a me, something that depicts me.

But I am so much more than what you can see. If I was to truly draw myself today or take a picture, I would have to turn the image of me into a jigsaw puzzle, cut it all up and put it back together again except there would be a piece missing. One piece of the jigsaw will be missing to the observer. It’s there but the onlooker wouldn’t see it.

You might think you can see me in a picture or painting but those will never be complete.

I have a piece missing for a part of me has gone forever the day my baby died.

I started this month of the body theme with a painting of  the body. I’ll finish it with another painting of my body, what it was like 19 months ago, to the day.

missing – helpless / water colour 7″x 5″ (18 x 13cm)

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2 Responses to “self portrait”

  1. Amy Says:

    I love this painting – the colors and the roundness – you shade the painting so well so that I can feel the stretch of the skin.

  2. Angie Says:

    Beautiful, Ines. I love your body paintings, I hope you keep doing them through the year.

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